Yes I copied and pasted the Onion’s article over to here and then deliberately without malice changed the names they used in their article to use mine, Bill as a joke you know?, so click to their pages and keep ‘the Onion happy about getting visitors. I thought this applied to decking since many are now made with concrete materials. Or maybe my sense of humor just differs from most, I don’t know…enjoy!

Foreman Whips Up Special Batch Of Concrete Deck Coating For Favorite Customer

January 23, 2009 | Issue 45•04

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OMAHA, NE—Schultz Concrete Company foreman Al Grayson, 42, mixed up a home-made vat of his finest concrete deck coating blend Tuesday for Central Coast Waterproofing’s Bill Leys, after inviting his favorite customer to “follow [him] ’round back for the good stuff.” “Bill’s been coming to me for years, and I know exactly how he likes it,” said Grayson, adding that his special batch isn’t the kind that lasts just long enough to satisfy the inspectors but then falls apart. “This is concrete deck coatings the way my grandfather made them, with just a touch of gypsum. There was only one bag left, so I tucked it away for my main man Bill.” While Grayson refused to divulge his secret recipe, he did claim to use only organic cement, artesian well water, and “enough quartzite to make any deck sparkle.”