Euphemisms for leaks-From Architect Jody Brown’s Blog

Please feel free to contribute to this post…
This is kind of the You Might Be a Redneck If…lists. Read on through, click to read the rest and fill in your own leak scenario…

I’ve been drawing waterproofing details all week, and it might be affecting me. So, I’ll let you in on a secret. There are certain things that Architects may say or do that are clear warning signs of future water infiltration problems. I think the kids are calling them “leaks” these days. If you happen to be reviewing the drawings with your Architect and you’re drifting off to sleep as he waxes and wanes and waves his arms around, try to perk up a little if you hear him say one of these things. These are just euphemisms for leaks. So, beware, and, begin the process of lining up expert witnesses.
 

 If your Architect has endeavored to dissolve the barrier between inside and out – you might have a leak
If your Architect has flooded the interior spaces with natural light – you might have a leak (yes, they will actually use the word “flooded”)
If your Architect has written a specification – you might have a leak. If your Architect has not written a specification – you might have a leak. If you Architect does not know what a specification is – you might have a leak.
If your Architect uses the term “innovative” – you might have a leak.
If your Architect drives a Porsche Cayman – you might have a leak (seriously, they might as well where a sandwich board sign that says “the end is near” on one side and “I can’t afford a 911” on the other.)
If your Architect has “streamlined the process” – you might have a leak.
If your Architect has designed the building to be “one with nature” – you might have a leak.
If your Architect has developed custom software to facilitate the design and fabrication of the elaborate titanium undulating forms representing the unrest of our current economic climate – you might have a leak (that’s right, I’m looking at you Frank Gehry)
If your Architect misspells the word “Bituminous” on his drawings – you might have a leak (actually, that’s not fair, no one can spell that)

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